I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What drink are we having for lunch?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
