I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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