Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just tell him i said nine months
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
And then he peed in my hair
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