i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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