she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm like, not good at living.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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