You're so nebulous sometimes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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