Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
