does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
