Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
