so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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