No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
