whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
