Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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