You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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