I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
