Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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