I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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