Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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