I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
