Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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