What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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