Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I want is dick and wine.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
