When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
