the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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