dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
