that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
