i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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