Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
