Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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