her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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