Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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