So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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