Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
