I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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