Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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