I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
