Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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