I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
