she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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