Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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