wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
