I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
