I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
