I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize