In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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