She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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