Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
