Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
