I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
