So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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