I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
