hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
