If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
