Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize