She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
