But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
