Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
