when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
