oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
