and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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